I could’ve been a world-famous rock star instead of a writer. But I was already at my computer when my cat wouldn’t get off my lap.
St Peter: Why have you done nothing with your life? You were fated to bring world peace and be insanely rich. Me: I had a cat on my lap
Why didn’t I go with the benevolent aliens to travel the stars? I had a cat on my lap.
Why didn’t I go with the rich, handsome love of my life to eat chocolates in our new Swiss chalet? I had a cat on my lap.
I, the famous astrophysicist, didn’t get up to save the earth from an asteroid, because I had a cat on my lap.
New Strap-On Pussy-Carrier! When you have a life to live, but the cat won’t leave! Now with litter! (I’m gonna make millions)