This is where I will now be kept as my master’s plaything. (To be fair, he does treat me very well. I think I may be developing Stockholm Syndrome for him!)
The swanky peninsula fireplace will be perfect for warming our captives’ tootsies after they build our snowman army barefoot. (you can’t see it in this shot, but there are manacles drilled into the stone up above.) Fun times ahead!
Portrait of the murderous samurai who lost all honor when he slaughtered local bears and, wearing one of their carved out heads as a headdress, went on a rampage and killed all the wild Pegasus’s and mountain troll children who used to frolic here in the Rockies, which is why we see them no more. His spirit now roams the house and amuses itself by cooking deer sausage egg rolls. (We are up to our eyeballs in deer sausage egg rolls. We are sick of deer sausage egg rolls. Want to come over for Thanksgiving? We’re serving deer sausage egg rolls! They’re delicious! Really!) The characters in the bottom corner read “I am the Dragon Jester.” Scholars are baffled.
So, that’s the new reformatory! Still much work to be done: new sound deadening insulation, extended HVAC that goes from 0 to 150 degrees, trap doors and secret rooms (I plan to use mine for my taxidermied fairy collection!) Make sure you come and visit real soon!